Table of Contents
WASHINGTON – Elon Musk announced on Friday that his company, SpaceX, will spearhead the construction of the first Holocaust Museum on the planet Mars. In collaboration with The United States Holocaust Memorial Council, a museum will be built underground, where those people will be most comfortable, and where they hope to collect tragedy donations from the first colony.
The building will serve as a firm reminder to the inhabitants of Mars, ensuring that they continually remember the tragedy that occurred in WWII against European Jews. Inside sources have hinted that Elon Musk might also consider building a new Western Wall because, after all, Mars will eventually need politicians and those politicians will also need to partake in some type of Babylonian humiliation ritual.
The Memorial Council celebrates this historic agreement and vows to "do everything within their power" to encourage advertisers back to Musk's social media platform, 𝕏 which they claim is "no longer antisemitic." Disney and Apple have since resumed advertising on 𝕏.
The construction of the museum will be funded partly by Christians who subscribe to the DailyWire and partly through merchandise sales. There will also be a memorabilia gift shop thanks to generous donations from The Babylon Bee. SpaceX has already launched a Mars-themed yamaka which they are calling "the space hat." It's available for purchase through the SpaceX store.
The news garnered mixed reactions from the international community. The European Commission President, Ursula von der Leyen, was concerned about the environmental disruption that a project like this would cause, and suggested sending Greta Thunberg as ambassador to oversee the mission.
Representatives from Germany were thrilled about the decision to build a memorial on Mars, reaching out to Elon on 𝕏 they wrote:
Uganda's president, Yoweri Museveni, was enraged to hear that Mars would be getting a Holocaust museum before Uganda, and he is now considering making homosexuality doubly illegal. On the other hand, Benjamin Netanyahu congratulated Musk and The Memorial Council, and pledged to help staff the space operation with residents from the West Bank.
But this is not the first project Musk has undertaken with members of the Jewish community. Last July, researchers from Neuralink partnered up with staff from the ADL to figure out a way to make forgetting the Holocaust literally impossible. Neuralink users will be remained twice a day about the holocaust, first in the morning, and then at noon. Users will be fed a series of images from OpenAI and Schindler's List. Additionally, if a user starts to think about taxation, they will receive a pump of traumatic images to remind them why they pay income tax.
