When people talk about body count, they are referring to the number of sexual partners a person has been with.
Question: What's your body count? How many bodies does she have?
Is a high body count good?
A high body count is generally not a good thing. Men and women see this differently, though.
A woman who has a high body count will be perceived as promiscuous and not the best candidate for a long-term heterosexual relationship. Most men (if they are being completely honest) would prefer to date and marry a woman with a low body count.
Men who have high body counts do not get judged in the same way women with high body counts do. In some circles, men with high body counts are celebrated, it's considered a mark of success. (This is also not good.)
The reason why people treat men and women differently is because of the nature of sex. It's easy for the average woman to have sex (most men will jump at the opportunity) whereas it's harder for a man to acquire sex, since he needs to pursue the woman.
Feminists will say that judging women for the number of sexual partners they've had is sexist and wrong. Maybe. But men are going to do it anyway because men are territorial and value sexual purity (in marriage).
Christians, on the other hand, view sex as something that should only happen between a husband and wife. People should wait until marriage to avoid all the drama and heartache that results from casual sex. Men with a high body count are condemned just as much as women.
Average body count
On average, Men and women are thought to have had between 4 and 8 sexual partners in their lives. World Population Review reports the average American body count is approximately 11.
According to the CDC (2019), the median number of sexual partners for women was 4, while men were slightly higher at 6. But these surveys aren't entirely accurate. Men tend to exaggerate up, while women tend to knock theirs down a few levels.
Number of sexual partners by country
The average body count also varies based on what country you come from. In some highly religious countries, average body counts are low, while in more secular countries people have a higher average. Here are the top ten countries by sexual partners:
| Country | Average Number of Sexual Partners |
|---|---|
| Turkey 🇹🇷 | 14.5 |
| Australia 🇦🇺 | 13.3 |
| New Zealand 🇳🇿 | 13.2 |
| Iceland 🇮🇸 | 13.0 |
| South Africa 🇿🇦 | 12.5 |
| Finland 🇫🇮 | 12.4 |
| Norway 🇳🇴 | 12.1 |
| Italy 🇮🇹 | 11.8 |
| Sweden 🇸🇪 | 11.8 |
| Switzerland 🇨🇭 | 11.1 |
It's disappointing to see Australia at #2, but the number makes sense, as Australia is extremely secular and casual sex is more or less encouraged from an early age.
China, India, and Vietnam report the lowest body count numbers with an average of around 3 sexual partners in a lifetime.
Should you lie about your body count?
The best advice is to never get a body count in the first place. Get married and put this whole issue aside.
If that's not possible, then follow the age-old idiom, "don't kiss and tell." People might goad you and try to manipulate it out of you, but understand if you ever tell someone it will come back to bite you in one way or another.
For example, if you lie to your partner about your body count (which many women do) and they somehow discover that you lied, then you have a real problem that could undermine an otherwise great relationship.
Maybe you don't even mention your body count to your partner, but someone else shares your information (because you blabbed about it), that's another uncomfortable situation you want to avoid.
You'll never regret being discreet. Don't post about, don't brag about it, don't do street interviews where people ask you about it – none of that.
If you're a woman, understand that there are plenty of men out there that will avoid the subject entirely if they like you. As long as you don't have to give them any cause for concern (you're discreet), you might never even have to talk about it.
That being said, if someone you see a long-term future with asks you point-blank, it's probably better to just tell the truth and get all the drama out of the way. If you've got a low body count (under 5) you're fine. If it's double digits, better to take the "I was young and stupid and regret everything" approach.
Women/feminists will tell you that you shouldn't regret your past, and you should apologize for how many partners you've had. That's all fine and good, but that's not at all how you should approach it with a man. If their reaction is not great, then you should do everything possible to distance yourself from your past actions. Say that you wish you didn't sleep with so many people, say you were young and naive, and so on – this will save you from a lot of drama and heartache.
Should you ask your partner their body count?
In this day and age, it's better not to ask at all. If you're taking the secular route, just assume your partner has a past and move on. By asking, you only open yourself up to jealousy and insecurity.
Some people can handle knowing, and it truly doesn't bother them, whatever the number may be. But if you have certain standards and expectations, better too just to forget the topic completely – because what's going to happen is that the answer is not going to meet your expectations, and then you'll get blown out. You'll get insecure and body count will become a major point of tension in your relationship.
